Ahh...the introspective blog entry, pardon my rant.
With age comes wisdom, or so they say, so in light of turning another year older I've been doing some thinking.
Someone asked me what I wanted for my birthday and of course I answered aloud something polite like "Oh I don't need anything!" or "Just to have a nice night with friends," but in my mind I couldn't help but think of the gift request that has eluded me all these years: The Snoopy Sno Cone Machine. I'm sure I stopped asking for it during every holiday or event around the age of 8 or so, but clearly I never stopped wanting it. This got me thinking...
I know I will never get it, yet I still hope for it. If only this realization merely applied to shaved ice machines... emails, phone calls, winning the lottery, friendships, relationships, etc etc. Am I optimistic to the point of being perpetually disappointed, or am I really just a pessimist who can't seem to shake the childish ideology that everything will turn out all warm and fuzzy in the end?
I think I try to look for the best in people and situations, but somehow everything seems so cynical in my own head, and when things take a turn for the worse it just confirms my negative thoughts. As much as I hold grudges and feel like it's me against the world sometimes I always have that teeny-tiny voice in my head telling me to keep the hope alive. Clearly I have a problem letting things go!
Does anyone else have this problem?
I guess the only thing to put my world to right is a Snoopy Sno Cone Machine... a metaphorical one of course; though, I'd take a real one too.
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